#59 Are You Mine?

Are You Mine by N. K. Smith Expected Publication: August 7th, 2013 4/5 stars

Are You Mine by N. K. Smith
Expected Publication: August 7th, 2013
4/5 stars

i’m struggling between posting the review or not because this book isn’t publish yet. Its way too early and i’m afraid its unappropriate to  do. But, i like this novel very much i can’t resist not to review it now. I wish for an apology from the author for doing this ^^v

~

Di sebuah pesta di akhir masa SMA-nya, saat  Saige berdiri bosan memerhatikan teman-temannya yang lain, Fox mendekatinya. Tiba-tiba saja ia ada di samping Saige dan mengajaknya bicara, padahal sebelumnya ia tidak pernah berbicara dengan Saige. Tapi Saige menanggapi sapaan Fox dengan ketus. Begitulah Saige, terkenal dengan sebutan sinis, mulutnya tajam dan unsociable. Saige adalah gadis yang berpikiran seperti ini:

Human connection.

Who needs it? I sure don’t, especially if it means I have to associate with the likes of those around me. Sure, every once in a while I wish I could have a relationship with the depth of feeling that, like the cliché, sweeps me off my feet. Sometimes I imagine myself meeting that right someone who makes me feel as my parents must have felt when they found each other.

But seriously. Connectedness is just some idea made up by greeting card companies and churches. There’s no way any of these people here understand me enough to connect with me. I mean, except my two friends who are somewhere in the crowd.

Ya, Saige terlihat ogah sekali dengan pertemanan, dengan hubungan antarmanusia. Meski begitu, ia memiliki seorang sahabat, gadis steampunk bernama Myka. Melalui Myka, dengan alur kebetulan tapi juga terasa disengaja, Fox kembali bersinggungan dengan Saige. Kali ini adalah tentang proyek membuatkan sebuah graphic novel untuk Myka. Saige, yang pandai dan bercita-cita menjadi penulis, memang pernah berjanji untuk membuatkan sebuah buku yang bercerita tentang Myka; seorang gadis steampunk yang spesial. Kebetulan Myka bertemu Fox di  perpustakaan dan mengetahui bakat menggambar yang dimiliki Fox, Myka membawa Fox kepada Saige. Jauh di lubuk hati Myka, ia ingin menjodohkan Fox dengan Saige.

Fox sendiri? Interaksi pertama ia dengan Saige adalah sesuatu yang disengaja olehnya. Dan itu tidak berhasil. Karena Saige dengan sinisnya menyinggung kenyataan bahwa ia mengulang kelas sebanyak 2x dan lulus SMA di usia 20 tahun. Tapi Fox melihat ada kesempatan lagi, saat ia berpapasan dengan Myka dan mulai terlebih dahulu dengan bertanya tentang Saige. Fox menyimpan kekaguman terhadap Saige. Kekaguman yang muncul sesederhana ia melihat dan menyadari Saige, dibalik kesinisannya, adalah seorang gadis yang menyimpan kejutan.

she’s an incredibly difficult person to get to know -Fox

Fox tidak menyerah untuk mendekati Saige dan ia mendekati Saige dengan perlahan, karena ia tahu ia tidak bisa memaksakan hatinya kepada Saige dan Saige bukan tipe gadis yang gampang ditaklukkan.

Everything about Saige and Fox are misfit. Saige, seorang gadis yang pintar, jago berargumen, bisa menulis, dan ia akan berkuliahdi  NYU. Fox sebaliknya, bagi sebagian teman SMA yang tidak mengenalnya, ia adalah seorang idiot. Yang perlu mengulang kelas sebanyak 2 kali untuk lulus SMA diusianya yang ke-20. Dan ia yakin ia tidak akan berkuliah setelah SMA. Sadly to know, he is a dyslexic. He cant control whats come in his mind and whats turn to be the outcome when he’s faced with words. He doesn’t read, and misspelled every words he wrote. But he is really good with painting, he is a determined person, and so easy-going. Everyone loves him and his in the cool-people group when he was in highschool.

They’re misfit. But they have one similarity: family issue. Both Saige’s parents died. Her mother died on WTC tragedy and her dad died  in Afghanistan conflict. And Fox, he has a schizophrenic mother. Seems like they meet to perfect each other, maybe it was like that. But who knows what the end story would be for them?  Does Saige have enough confidence to fully accept the radiating Fox and take the risk to feel sad because their future together?

“Underneath your hard, abrasive exterior and underneath my soft, friendly persona, we’re the same. You hide out and I let out. You go inside yourself, and I go outside myself, but apart from what’s out here,” I say, gesturing to her, myself, and our surroundings, “we’re just little kids wondering if anyone else understands what it’s like to lose the things we’ve lost.”

~

You want to say something, don’t you?”

This is one time she doesn’t turn away from me. “I want to ask something, but I don’t know how.”

What’s it about?”

Um, you. Me.”

I look at her for a moment, then take out a clean sheet of paper. With the nubby pencil, I start sketching, aware that she’s watching my hands move over the page. I’d like to give this picture more time, but Saige is sitting right next to me, probably wondering what the hell I’m doing since she just said she wanted to ask something.

When I’m finished with the rough sketch, I hand it to her and watch as more color floods her face. She sweeps her eyes over the picture, looking at the image of her in her long dress sitting next to me, our hands touching, palm to palm.

I’ve drawn a dialogue bubble in the picture above her head. She grabs the pen next to her laptop as she sets the sheet of paper down on the table. With a shaky hand, she writes, “Are you mine?” in the bubble.

The muscles in my face ache from the strain of the smile I’m holding as my mind makes sense of the letters. I know the grin is toothy and goofy, but I can’t push down the childish giddiness of her printed question. First, I draw another dialogue bubble above my head, then carefully pluck the pen from her hands. I make sure to caress her fingers as I withdraw mine, and watch as she shivers just a little at the same time a ripple of excitement meanders through me.

I normally hate writing anything because I can never tell if what I write is wrong or not, but I’m confident in this. Not only is it a small word, but I know Saige won’t make fun of me even if it does come out wrong. So I take the tip of the pen and press it against the paper to carefully write, “Yes.”

Can you see it? Its a sweet story. And Fox, he is a hopeless romantic. He is adorable and way too good person, for Saige, and even for me (*selftoyor* siape elu ziyy?). Fox just like Park: optimistic when it comes to the girl he loves. Fox is funny, he approach Saige with jokes and without Saige realize,  Fox slowly erasing abrasive-side of her. Fox can picture they’re together as future.

‘when I think about her, I know I’m supposed to be with her. And when I look at her, I see us together,’

‘But I’m not so sure she sees it. She’s like a closed book, or a Japanese movie without English subtitles. You just don’t know what the hell’s going on.’

She’s like the words on the page. The meaning is hidden from me until I can unscramble and make sense of them. But unlike the words, Saige doesn’t make it easy by just showing me the strange patterns and jumbled letters. She keeps it all closed off.

It took a long times to convince Saige about they’re being together was not just a summer moment. They’ll last longer than that, Fox believe that. But the outcome? Can Saige realize the chance of them being together and not think to much of the risk that she might get hurt? Or the outcome would be Fox need to give up about Saige? The answer lay in the end of the story.

~

When i decided to read it, i dont expect too much. That time, i have less paperbook but i have enough stack of ebook on my cell-phone so i use it. Then, its easy for me too fall for Fox. He’s my type. Hehhe. A good-boy-and-gentlemen type. Best of it, he is a positive person despite his dyslexia.

Don’t break my heart. Don’t break our connection just because it’s a little terrifying to feel something you’ve never felt before. Acknowledge that we’re the same underneath and stop looking at all the outward differences. I’m no more Love than you are. Our hearts and minds understand each other. Circumstance doesn’t matter. What matters is that we’re connected.

So don’t break the heart I’ve given you. I swear to God, I’ll keep yours safe too.

And if those words are for me, i’ll say: No Fox, i will not break your heart. I promise.❤❤❤ fangirling mode On

Well, well, be in love and belove. May you experince sweet romance in your life.

Happy reading~

7 thoughts on “#59 Are You Mine?

  1. Pingback: [Monthly Recap] June | Faraziyya's Bookshelf

    • Iya, ide perfecting each other by loving and beloved emg ud umum.
      Yg bikin ga bosen itu krn karakterisasinya beda2.

      Like

  2. Pingback: Faraziyya's Bookshelf | 2013 Reading Challenge Books In English: Wrap Up Post

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